Why Waiting can paralyze

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Two weeks ago a friend said to me, “You’re a connector of people.” Like an arrow, that little comment pierced my senses and created a cascade of questions and thoughts.

A domino effect in my mind for weeks.


I’m a connector? I don’t want to be a connector. I have fought with being a connector for years. I am waiting for a friend like Lori, who lives hundreds of miles away, to exist in my world here to do all the connecting so I can just show up and smile.

Could it be that this is why I struggle off and on with feelings of loneliness?

Have I been placed here to be a connector, not doing my job, and creating a wake of lonely, unconnected people in my lazy path?

And then the final domino falls. How much is not getting done because we are all waiting for someone else to do it? For the perfect time to do it? For the perfect day to do it? For the perfect…

Summits in the horizon. That’s what we wait for. When I’m this old, or this tall, or this thin, or this educated, or this married, or this “empty nested”…then, but not now, will I do it.


But the problem with these summits?

They are false. False summits.

We hit these milestone places in our lives: we graduate, get married, have kids, graduate kids, lose weight, gain weight, lose it again, get a job, a dream job, quit the job. But every turn of life just opens up our view to more trail, more turns, more summits to peak.

So we wait.

Someday I am going to start running.

How about this instead?


Or simply put make it a goal to pursue more of enjoying the moment for what it is and less of waiting for it to become perfect.

If I am a connector, I am missing my important role since I have spent much time wishing I didn’t have to be, waiting for someone else to come along who could do this for me, and waiting for my kids to get older so I have more time to do this. So many false summits between doing what I am called to do and doing nothing at all.

How many books, songs, and inventions haven’t happened because the people meant to do it are strung out along an endless trail to an unreachable summit?

False summits paralyze. True summits energize.

Stop waiting and realize you are standing on the summit right now. You have what it takes to do what you are dreaming of doing, right now.

Write that book. Invent that gadget. Forgive. Run. Eat healthy. Adopt.

You know what your “thing” is so get going.

The world is waiting for you to be who you have been created to be. We need you to be who you have been created to be.


One thought on “Why Waiting can paralyze

    Why Waiting can paralyze « Julie A. O'Neill said:
    January 13, 2014 at 4:19 am

    […] Why Waiting can paralyze. […]

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